in memoriam
by JacksonFrost
Summary: One year after the Battle of Hogwarts. Remembering. Hurting. Healing.


_for the Anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts challenge. Please review! (:_

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in memoriam

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The bright daylight and the cheerful patches of flowers seem out of place today, Neville thinks as he walks towards the somber crowd, trying to plaster an optimistic smile on his face, but failing miserably.

He can still hear the screams; smell the burning flesh; see the bodies of his friends lying motionless, never to wake up. Neville could cheerfully punch whoever suggested this memorial service at Hogwarts; it was much too soon, still too painful. A year was nothing: no time to forget, no time to heal.

Hannah wanders over to him, smiling shyly. A memory of Hannah's white face, smeared with the startling red of her blood, fills Neville's head. His mouth suddenly dry, he reaches out and traces the scar on her cheek, and then quickly draws his hand back. "Sorry," he gasps. "I don't know what-"

Hannah giggles nervously. "No, no. You're fine. I get it. It's hard to think that this time a year ago-"

"Yeah," Neville says, cutting her off. He doesn't want to think about everything that happened last year. He _can't_ think of everything that happened. Hannah blushes, and Neville feels a pang of guilt. "So. How's your dad?"

Hannah beams. "Oh, he's good, really good. He's actually been talking to me about my mum, and showing me old pictures."

"That's great, Hannah," Neville begins sincerely, but is interrupted by a whooping cheer.

"Commander!" Seamus roars, pounding Neville on the back. "Return a mate's phone calls sometime, yeah?"

"Sorry," Neville laughs, dodging Seamus' blows. He tries not to remember Seamus trapped, surrounded by Death Eaters, and Dean running towards him, shooting spells, and then falling- Neville bites his lip and forces out a smile. "I've been busy. Gram's garden was a disaster."

Seamus makes a face, but before he can say anything to that admittedly lame excuse, Lavender emerges from the crowd and lightly touches his arm. Seamus' face lights up and he takes her hand. "You didn't hear the good news, mate."

"Oh?" Neville asks, grinning at Lavender. Her perfect smile was marred by Greyback (and Neville can still hear her screams; he hears them every night in his sleep), but she grimaces back at him cheerfully.

"I asked Lav to marry me," Seamus says, squeezing Lavender's hand. "And-"

"And I said yes, of course," Lavender interrupts, with a squeal reminiscent of her carefree Hogwarts days.

Hannah squeals back and throws her arms around Lavender. "I'm so happy for you guys!"

"Wow," Neville manages. He grins at Seamus. "That's great, I'm happy for you, really. Bit soon though, isn't it?

Seamus shrugs. "We're young, yeah, but we've been through a lot this year. Almost losing Lav was…" He stops, choked up, and blushes, embarrassed. "Well. Made me realize I wanted to spend my life with her."

Lavender kisses him on the cheek, beaming, and Neville looks at Hannah and suddenly has an urge to take her hand. He blushes (where did _that_ come from?) and scans the crowd instead. He sees Luna floating airily throughout groups of people and smiles.

Seamus notices him looking. "Yeah, we're all here, reunited."

"Not all of us," Neville says darkly, seeing the faces of those missing flashing before his eyes.

Seamus blanches. "Oh, shit, man. I didn't mean-"

"We all want you to make a speech," Lavender says bluntly.

"Oh," Neville says faintly. "Shouldn't Harry do it?"

"No," Seamus snaps, slightly bitterly. "He wasn't there with us that year. And he was off fighting Voldemort during the battle. And that's all well and good, and I thank him for that, but he didn't watch our friends die. We did. _You _did. And we want you to make the speech."

Hannah frowns. "He doesn't have to if it's too hard-"

"No," Neville interrupts. "I'll do it." He hesitantly takes her hand and smiles. "Just stay with me?"

Seamus flashes them a quick grin and taps his wand against his throat. "Oye! Shut up!" his voice, magically amplified, booms. "Commander's going to make a speech."

There are a few cheers, and Neville glimpses Ginny wolf-whistling, and then the crowd falls silent. Neville taps his throat with his wand. "Thanks guys. I wish we could say we're all here today to celebrate the first anniversary of Voldemort's defeat. But I can't. I'm not in much of a celebratory mood, to tell you the truth. And we're not all here."

He looks at the crowd and his gaze falls on George, holding Angelina's hand with tears streaming down both of their faces. "We're missing brothers."

He sees Padma, clutching a picture of Parvati. "We're missing sisters."

He smiles sadly. "And we're all missing friends. I could list all their names, but it's unnecessary. They're all in our hearts, and that's where they'll stay forever. And as we enjoy the freedom granted to us by Voldemort's defeat," Neville nods to Harry, who bows his head in acknowledgment, "we remember. Always. And sometimes it's going to seem easier to forget, to just escape the constant pain of remembering, but we can't. We'll keep those who died for our freedom in our hearts, and we'll live for them."

Neville blinks back tears, and Hannah squeezes his hand. He tries to continue, but he can't, and then he sees Charlie and Ron stumbling towards them.

"Fleur had the baby!" Charlie shouts, grinning ear-to-ear. "Her name's Victoire."

"That's Victory in French," Ron adds helpfully.

Everyone begins to crowd around Charlie and Ron, ooo'ing and aww'ing over the photograph of a tiny baby squirming around on a frilly pink blanket.

Neville squeezes Hannah's hand back and smiles through his tears. Life goes on.


End file.
